The Slow Dance of God's Grace

As far as I am concerned, God turned into good what you meant for evil, for he brought me to this high position I have today so that I could save the lives of many people. Genesis 50:20

The Slow Dance of God’s Grace

“I haven’t seen you in a year! You’ve changed so much!” my aunt said as she cupped my daughter’s face in her hands. 

In one year my middle school daughter morphed from gawky to graceful. She ditched tomboy and embraced mascara.

Mother Nature was working so slowly. Yet so quickly. 

But I barely noticed. I saw her every day. And with a younger child, I still had my head buried in cutting PBJ’s just the right way and packing Pinterest-worthy lunches with a love note.

There’s a slow dance of how a child changes and grows. Likewise, I’ve learned the slow rhythm of how God works in my life, in the next chapters, verses, and precious words of His divine love notes.

He weaves the depression, the divorce, and the deaths into Divine. He takes unanswered prayers and turns them into Ah-ha moments where I step back and wonder how I ever got through this and survived.

My father was an alcoholic. We lost our home and were forced to rent in a questionable area of town.

On moving day, my dad left to get lunch for my mom and me. And he didn’t return for six months. MIA. He was drowning in the shame of losing his job and our beautiful house. 

He often told me I was the most important thing in his life, yet he made a habit of leaving for six months without even a phone call. 

lifetoheryears.com

It’s no wonder, as an adult, I had no idea what true love really was.

Depression became my traveling companion at a young age, and despite desperate pleas for God to take it away, perfect love stays His hand. 

But if He allows it to stay, there must be a purpose in it.

Like a child’s steady, imperceptible growth, I barely noticed through the years how God gently revealed to me the gifts of my valleys.

The low places planted in my soul a sensitivity for those who suffer, for those who grew up different, or had to grow up too fast. They beckon me to come alongside you and hold your hand and ask you, “Dear, who told you something was wrong with you?” 

jakejabscenter.org

My depression is a severe mercy, keeping me desperately clinging to the One who says, “My grace is sufficient. I am all you need.” 

It taught me that in order to survive, I must renounce my selfish tunnel vision and reach out to my sisters who are in their own tunnels. And in doing that, my darkness glorifies my Savior. 

Jesus’ Message:

The storms in your life are just as important in your journey as the stillness. I work slowly, but I am actually using the heavy winds to help you rise, like a plane taking off. You must trust my process.

Sometimes you wonder where I am, as if somehow I was absent, as if somehow you are in a place too dark for My touch. 

In your distress, I am much nearer than you can comprehend. I am walking with you through the dark. I give you grace through decades of striving, but also grace in tiny moments that lead from one tick of the clock to the next. 

seniordriveraus.com

Your earthly father let you down on moving day, but your heavenly father was moving in your young life. Satan doesn’t confound or confuse Me. I have never once given up My sovereignty to anything—to an absent father, to a divorce, or even to a drunk driver.

I have carefully laid down each stepping stone in your life’s journey. Satan has tried to darken your path and drive you off it.

But I penetrate your darkness, encouraging you to turn over each stepping stone in your journey of pain and run your finger over the jagged places. I guide your hand as you wipe off the dirt and find beauty in the rich colors underneath which would have faded if exposed to the sunlight.

One day you will look back over your shoulder at the hair-pin curves and u-turns and realize every bypass and back road was for a reason. 

Taneli Lahtinen - unsplash.com

Satan meant to use your father’s demons to harden your teenage heart, but my grace kept it tender. My Living Water changed your failures into fruit, and your bruises into blessings for hurting souls longing for hope.

Daughter, you are my workmanship. Your scars are symbols, signs of wounds that have been healed. Do not be ashamed of them. Roll up your sleeve and go show them to that kid from a broken home or that battered wife. Bring up that subject in church no one wants to talk about. Tell them you know. Walk with them and be the flicker of light in their darkness.